Normal?

A question that I have asked myself ever since I was diagnosed with UC and began treatment is, what is normal? Or how should I feel? I did not begin to experience symptoms of UC until I was 24 years of age. Having gone so many years symptom free (~85% of my life thus far) it may seem strange that I cannot even remember what a normal bowel movement is. This is worth thinking about since determination of how well a treatment is working often uses normalcy as its standard (i.e. Are your bowel movements normal?).

After going through many months of false diagnosis followed by an extreme severity of the symptoms (often visits to the emergency room), I cannot remember what is normal. Naturally, I asked a friend of mine with Crohn’s if he knows what exactly normal is like. It is even harder for him to imagine since he has experienced symptoms his entire life. When talking to my doctor I never use normalcy as the standard, but rather discuss what is better/worse since last treatment changes and what is tolerable and intolerable.

I often discuss in this blog that I have been flare free for many months. I think of a flare as when I am experiencing intense, debilitating pain accompanied with bleeding and so frequent trips to the restroom I cannot easily do normal life activities like eat a meal, sleep, etc. Saying that I am not experiencing this does not mean that I do not have any symptoms. I still have the occasional abdominal pains and take frequent trips to the rest room when I first wake in the morning.

Normal bowel movements? I guess I have them part of the time, but I do not know if I have just grown accustomed to the less extreme symptoms or if it truly is normal. Regardless, I do know what it means to live a normal life and my treatment has achieved this.