A question that I have asked myself ever since I was diagnosed with UC and began treatment is, what is normal? Or how should I feel? I did not begin to experience symptoms of UC until I was 24 years of age. Having gone so many years symptom free (~85% of my life thus far) it may seem strange that I cannot even remember what a normal bowel movement is. This is worth thinking about since determination of how well a treatment is working often uses normalcy as its standard (i.e. Are your bowel movements normal?).
After going through many months of false diagnosis followed by an extreme severity of the symptoms (often visits to the emergency room), I cannot remember what is normal. Naturally, I asked a friend of mine with Crohn’s if he knows what exactly normal is like. It is even harder for him to imagine since he has experienced symptoms his entire life. When talking to my doctor I never use normalcy as the standard, but rather discuss what is better/worse since last treatment changes and what is tolerable and intolerable.
I often discuss in this blog that I have been flare free for many months. I think of a flare as when I am experiencing intense, debilitating pain accompanied with bleeding and so frequent trips to the restroom I cannot easily do normal life activities like eat a meal, sleep, etc. Saying that I am not experiencing this does not mean that I do not have any symptoms. I still have the occasional abdominal pains and take frequent trips to the rest room when I first wake in the morning.
Normal bowel movements? I guess I have them part of the time, but I do not know if I have just grown accustomed to the less extreme symptoms or if it truly is normal. Regardless, I do know what it means to live a normal life and my treatment has achieved this.
15 July 2007
14 July 2007
National Tour
The trip out to the USA Triathlon National Championship was quite an experience (a stressful one). Due to bad weather all along the east coast my original flight was cancelled. This resulted in my journey to Oregon taking 2 ½ days as I went to a total of 6 airports. I did finally arrive in Oregon the day before the race, but my luggage did not arrive until late that afternoon. This did not give me much time to assemble my bike, check-in to the race, check-in my bike and view the race course. Not to mention that I needed to eat regular meals so that I could have good nutrition going into the race. Thankfully I did not have any problems with my UC. That would have made for a much worse experience given that I spent 2 nights in airports without any luggage.
On the bright side, my trip to the National Championship included a national tour. In the course of a few days I flew over the New York skyline and saw the Statue of Liberty, flew over Washing DC and the many national monuments, flew over the Great Salt Lake and salt flats, and saw the sunset in the rocky mountains. The trip was capped off with a good view of firework shows in New England. It actually, despite the circumstances, was a great national tour.
On the bright side, my trip to the National Championship included a national tour. In the course of a few days I flew over the New York skyline and saw the Statue of Liberty, flew over Washing DC and the many national monuments, flew over the Great Salt Lake and salt flats, and saw the sunset in the rocky mountains. The trip was capped off with a good view of firework shows in New England. It actually, despite the circumstances, was a great national tour.
13 July 2007
Return to Cincinatti (kind of)
Following the disappointing performance at the Triathlon National Championship I requested an earlier flight so that I could just get back home. This change in flight plans made for a connection in Cincinnatti, Ohio. This made for a great trip home not only because I got home a day early, but also because it created a great reflection, discussed below, that recovered my ego after the bad race day.
As I flew into the Cincinnatti airport I started to think about the last time that I flew into that airport. It was back in January and I was going to Cincinatti to meet the Asacol team for the first time (Proctor and Gamble is headquartered in Cincinnatti). Most of the flight I was thinking over the race with disappointment, but as I flew into Cincinatti I began to think about how I felt on that last trip into the city. I was full of nervous energy and excitement. I could not believe the opportunity that Asacol was giving me in sponsoring my racing season and starting programs utilizing my story. The excitement of that time quickly returned to me and my outlook on the season changed. I realized that there was no use in sulking over the race. I have been given a great opportunity and I am going to continue enjoying it.
As I flew into the Cincinnatti airport I started to think about the last time that I flew into that airport. It was back in January and I was going to Cincinatti to meet the Asacol team for the first time (Proctor and Gamble is headquartered in Cincinnatti). Most of the flight I was thinking over the race with disappointment, but as I flew into Cincinatti I began to think about how I felt on that last trip into the city. I was full of nervous energy and excitement. I could not believe the opportunity that Asacol was giving me in sponsoring my racing season and starting programs utilizing my story. The excitement of that time quickly returned to me and my outlook on the season changed. I realized that there was no use in sulking over the race. I have been given a great opportunity and I am going to continue enjoying it.
12 July 2007
USAT National Championship
There was one race this season that I was particularly looking forward to and gearing my training towards: the USA Triathlon National Championship in Portland, Oregon. The race took place on June 30th. I had hoped of placing in the top twenty of my age group and qualifying for the Triathlon World Championship in Hamburg, Germany. Unfortunately the race did not go as well as planned and I finished second to last in a time of 2:39:33. This time was 31 minutes slower than my goal and 9 minutes slower than my first Olympic distance triathlon in 2005!
I was a little slower on the swim than I wanted, but still had a reasonable time to meet my goal. The bike went pretty well, but on the run I fell apart. It was all that I could do just to finish the race. This was particularly frustrating since my run background usually means that I make up a lot of time on the run, not fade to a slow trot. There may have been a number of factors that influenced this poor performance (such as a tough schedule in the travel days leading to the race), but I do not think it is an excuse. I was not mentally prepared for the challenging race course.
Regardless of my performance, I enjoyed the experience. It was an amazingly beautiful and well laid out race course. Not making my season goal is truly frustrating (particularly since it was missed by a huge margin), but I only look forward to the next three races of the season. They cannot all go well. I am just happy that this sour taste will not be the end of this year’s season.
I was a little slower on the swim than I wanted, but still had a reasonable time to meet my goal. The bike went pretty well, but on the run I fell apart. It was all that I could do just to finish the race. This was particularly frustrating since my run background usually means that I make up a lot of time on the run, not fade to a slow trot. There may have been a number of factors that influenced this poor performance (such as a tough schedule in the travel days leading to the race), but I do not think it is an excuse. I was not mentally prepared for the challenging race course.
Regardless of my performance, I enjoyed the experience. It was an amazingly beautiful and well laid out race course. Not making my season goal is truly frustrating (particularly since it was missed by a huge margin), but I only look forward to the next three races of the season. They cannot all go well. I am just happy that this sour taste will not be the end of this year’s season.
11 July 2007
Asacol Success Stories
The newly designed Asacol website (www.asacol.com) has a few UC patient success stories that are very encouraging to read. Recently, they have posted a story about me [link] and the “Going the Distance with UC” program [link] that we have partnered to form. Check it out and make sure to read Larry’s and Angela’s stories a well. It is great to read about how others have overcome the challenges of UC. I am sure everybody with UC can relate to at least one of these stories.
10 July 2007
Humility and Adversity
Having UC and being a triathlete I have learned many lessons in humility and dealing with adverse situations. Here is one area that those two roles come hand-in-hand. I am not sure if the triathlon training and racing has helped me deal with humility and adversity that comes with UC or if it is the other way around. My UC symptoms started around the same time I started my triathlon training (I believe this is just coincidental). Regardless, each situation is helped by each other.
Triathletes, by the nature of the sport, face much humility. A friend once told me that a triathlon is the best place to look for a girlfriend: you know what you are getting. After all, everyone is practically naked. Additionally, everybody’s nervous ticks are on display. Anybody with UC knows, and fears, humility. From my experience with humility I know that humiliating events are temporary and are often forgotten. Besides, nearly everybody has faced humility at one point in their life; especially if you are a parent!
The condition of UC is, in its own right, an adverse situation. It can be very mentally debilitating if you do not learn to deal with the adversity. There are many ways that people can and have overcome the adversity of UC (see some examples at www.ccfa.org and www.asacol.com). A positive outlook is needed to be able to move on. Triathletes face multiple types of adversity (on a lesser scale) at every race and most training days. Changes in weather conditions, water conditions, a flat tire, an injury or cramp. If a single event swings your mood to a negative side you will be pulling yourself out of the race. However, for both UC and triathlon, caution needs to be taken to not cross the line of over-pushing.
Triathletes, by the nature of the sport, face much humility. A friend once told me that a triathlon is the best place to look for a girlfriend: you know what you are getting. After all, everyone is practically naked. Additionally, everybody’s nervous ticks are on display. Anybody with UC knows, and fears, humility. From my experience with humility I know that humiliating events are temporary and are often forgotten. Besides, nearly everybody has faced humility at one point in their life; especially if you are a parent!
The condition of UC is, in its own right, an adverse situation. It can be very mentally debilitating if you do not learn to deal with the adversity. There are many ways that people can and have overcome the adversity of UC (see some examples at www.ccfa.org and www.asacol.com). A positive outlook is needed to be able to move on. Triathletes face multiple types of adversity (on a lesser scale) at every race and most training days. Changes in weather conditions, water conditions, a flat tire, an injury or cramp. If a single event swings your mood to a negative side you will be pulling yourself out of the race. However, for both UC and triathlon, caution needs to be taken to not cross the line of over-pushing.
04 July 2007
Over asking
Being open about UC has been one of the best things for me therapeutically, but everything comes with a drawback.
One negative thing about being open with others about my UC is their over asking. I know that it is only out of concern and has every good intention, but it is annoying. By over asking I mean people constantly asking me if I need to go use the restroom, is it ok for me to eat this, or really any question that is asked solely because they are aware of my UC. The way I feel about it is that I am a grown person and I will handle my UC myself. I know that if I need to use the restroom, I will go. If I cannot eat something, I won’t. I know people are only being nice, but I still do not like it because it draws attention to my UC. At times, this can have the effect of making me feel outcast.
However, there are other times when I am thankful that people ask. For example when going to a dinner party, if somebody asks it is just polite. This does not bother me because even if I did not have UC people may ask this to ensure there are no allergies, for example.
Over time I have learned to not let over asking bother me as much and be more relaxed about it. It is only an annoyance, but not something to get upset or stressed over. And, I cannot blame people for doing it out of kindness. Before having UC I would probably do the same thing. Now I know that even if somebody is open about a disease not to ask questions that may single them out.
One negative thing about being open with others about my UC is their over asking. I know that it is only out of concern and has every good intention, but it is annoying. By over asking I mean people constantly asking me if I need to go use the restroom, is it ok for me to eat this, or really any question that is asked solely because they are aware of my UC. The way I feel about it is that I am a grown person and I will handle my UC myself. I know that if I need to use the restroom, I will go. If I cannot eat something, I won’t. I know people are only being nice, but I still do not like it because it draws attention to my UC. At times, this can have the effect of making me feel outcast.
However, there are other times when I am thankful that people ask. For example when going to a dinner party, if somebody asks it is just polite. This does not bother me because even if I did not have UC people may ask this to ensure there are no allergies, for example.
Over time I have learned to not let over asking bother me as much and be more relaxed about it. It is only an annoyance, but not something to get upset or stressed over. And, I cannot blame people for doing it out of kindness. Before having UC I would probably do the same thing. Now I know that even if somebody is open about a disease not to ask questions that may single them out.
02 July 2007
Bathroom Walk
Particularly when I was experiencing a flare, I had many problems with urgency. It was always a challenge to get to the restroom in time. When the urgency arose I remember that I always wanted to just get up and run as quickly as I could, but that plan often backfired. Running just gets things moving faster! The solution: I developed what I call the bathroom walk. It is a lot like speed walking, but with much shorter strides. I got me there quickly and in time, usually! It is a little embarrassing if others see me walking this way, probably looks like a fast duck-waddle to an onlooker. Oh well, it could have been more embarrassing if I did not employ this technique.
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